In Memory of Pompidou
July 14, 2000-May 15, 2003

This Much I Know

(The Observer Magazine in the UK features an interview each Sunday entitled "This Much I Know" in which the subject discusses what he/she has learned in their life. I've imagined how Pompidou might have responded... "Buffoon" and "Buffoonette" are Pompidou's names for his humans, because he sometimes found them quite slow and inefficient.) --Penny

Sticks come in many different varieties. In JP, I had a flowerpot full of sticks by the front porch. Before each walk my Buffoon would show me different ones. I usually rejected about six before choosing one to take along. Then I dropped it a few minutes later. Ha ha ha.

Grandmothers are marvelous - everyone should have at least two. Grandmere Anne is very good at chopping but she sure drops a lot of food on the floor. I cleaned it up for her. Grandmama Barbara always has bickies in her purse and sings funny songs. She has two little dogs and a Very Large Dog named Fergie. Don't try to eat Fergie's food. (If you forget and try to eat it anyway, hide behind something, preferably a grandmother. Quick.)

I have a love/hate relationship with skateboards. I kind of black out when I get near them. People tell me I ride one, but I don't remember anything about it.

Cats are OK. They have sharp things on their paws though, so if you want to play with them, the best thing is to run at them then close your eyes and jerk your head away at the last moment.

Karl Cassell really sounds like that in real life. I met him at the Talentless Show. I must have listened to approximately 4000 hours of NPR in that kitchen. I don't think Buffoon and Buffoonette realized that there were other radio stations.

Lee is fantastic. She was my dog walker in JP. On hot days, she played ice cube hockey with me in the kitchen. Once she was being attacked by an umbrella, so I had to kill it.

When going somewhere, go as fast as you can, even if it's uphill. There might be people there waiting for you. They might have bickies.

Keep an eye on men with beards. When I first saw Buffoon at the airport in Texas, I knew something was up. I thought, "That man has a cat attached to his face!" I yelled at Trudy some more.

France is a wonderful country, but if you are named after a national hero, it is a good idea to shorten your name to Pomp. Some people seem to take offense. Yes, it is a little weird that your name then means "Pump".

Paté makes an ideal dog food. Whoever invented that dry stuff has some explaining to do.

The skateboard

From Penny Schenk
Oxford, UK

If Pompidou were alive and given the choice of attending his own funeral, he would no doubt have disdained to attend such a sad affair.

Godspeed, Pompidou...